Bullying in preschool aged children is a situation that cannot be taken lightly. When a child is bullied in daycare, parents should seek first to offer comfort and support. Secondly, it is important to discuss the matter with daycare center and preschool administrators.
Offer Bullied Children Comfort and Support
The best thing that parents can do when their child is bullied is offer comfort and support. “Children may feel embarrassed by the situation and concerned about retaliation for sharing with an adult. It’s important to advise children not to respond to bullying by fighting or bullying back”, says Sue Adair, Director of Education for The Goddard School. Adair suggests that parents do the following at home:
- Teach children to treat others with kindness and respect
- Encourage good behavior
- Set a good example
Dr. Warren Seiler, child and adolescent psychiatrist and author of Battling the Enemy Within: Conquering the Causes of Inner Struggle and Unhappiness [Victory Laine Publishing, 2010], agrees. Parents who come to learn that their child is being bullied should offer the healing love of their empathy for the suffering that their child has gone through as a result of being the victim of a bully. “This suffering will range anywhere from the relatively minor to the more extreme forms of suffering depending on the situation we might discuss,” says Dr. Seiler.
Children appreciate the love and support and awareness of their parents. Children learn from and further appreciate examples that the parents may offer of their own childhood and adolescence and times when they may have been bullied, and how they handled themselves. It is also at these times that children can be helped to understand why it is important that they themselves not mistreat others because of the feelings that they would cause such others.
Dr. Seiler goes on to explain that children who are acutely aware,on a day-to-day basis, of how much they are loved and valued by their parents, or whoever may be taking care of them, are typically able to tolerate significant amounts of stress and discomfort without being damaged by such. It is important for parents to recognize that the pain and discomfort that children will feel periodically in the course of their growing up is not necessarily synonymous with damage being done to them.
The healthier the child, the more supported the child feels emotionally, psychologically and spiritually by her parents, the more pain and suffering she can tolerate without being damaged. Parents can praise them for their strength and reassure them that they will no doubt contribute a great deal to the world around them as they grow into adulthood, explains Dr. Seiler.
Inform Early Childhood Educators of Bullying
In those cases where parental support and suggestions as to how to deal with the bully do not end the bullying, it is routinely necessary for the parent to take some action in order to intervene and end the bullying. “Ask if the institution has a zero tolerance policy, and if not, if one can be implemented, volunteer to help design and implement the policy. Seek the support of other parents, discuss the problem with other parents, says Dr. Anandhi Narasimhan, noted adolescent, adult and child psychiatrist. Do not take the attitude of “it’s just kids being kids.” Understand that there are potential serious consequences of this behavior.
If this occurs in a daycare or preschool setting, the owner or administrator needs to be notified. If bullying occurs in the neighborhood, the parents of the bully need to be informed.
Interviews with Dr. Warren Seiler, Sue Adair, and Dr. Anandhi Narasimhan were conducted in May, 2010.
Carla Snuggs - As a writer for Suite101.com since 2005, it is a privilege to continue on as theTopic Editor for the subject of Day Care. I received a ...
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